1. Reflect on Your Own Attitudes, Beliefs and Experiences with Learning: Kids (even the teenage variety) are watching and listening to you, even if you don't realize it, and, most particularly, when you least expect it. As with anything else, your actions and internal beliefs say a lot more than your actual words. Do you tell them to do their homework, but later say to your husband or wife, "All that crazy teacher does is give them hours of senseless homework, I wish she'd ease up with it." Um...yep, they were listening to what you were really saying, and undeniably, it's the message behind the spoken words that children really learn best. To wit: I've heard more than one adult say in exasperation and frustration, something to the effect of, "I don't care how long it takes, you're doing that stupid homework, even if it kills you." If you don't value education, or even send out a subconscious message that it's not important, how will your children learn to value it for its own sake? For many parents, learning was an arduous, tedious and negative experience, which often leads them to unwittingly diminish its value and importance, regardless of what they tell their children. In spite of your own experiences, take a realistic and honest appraisal of your own beliefs and have an awareness of how what you say, and, more importantly, what you do impacts your child's natural affinity to learn. A positive outlook and nurturing environment will give your child the freedom and energy to keep learning as they grow into and through adulthood.
2. Love Reading and Books, or at Least, Make Reading a Priority and Daily Activity in the Home: Read books, buy books, go to the library, get an e-reader, order magazines and online versions of the local newspaper, grab brochures and leaflets, shut down the television, at least every once in a while, and make your home a reading rich environment. Most importantly, foster a love of reading in your child, and you've opened up a path to all the wonders, knowledge and mysteries the world has to offer, and subsequently, inspired them to seek knowledge for the sake of learning, understanding and personal growth.
3. Figure Out How Your Kid Learns Best: The legendary Howard Gardner surmised that there are at least 7, if not more, distinct learning styles, and that most of us learn best via one or two of these. While it would be great to only emphasize your child's specific strength, the real world dictates that you determine which one of the 3 major styles is strongest for your child:
- Visual: learning via demonstrations, charts, graphs and pictures.
- Auditory: learning by listening to the teacher, or taking part in class discussions and having an ear for music.
- Bodily-Kinesthetic: learning by doing, interacting with the world around them, role-playing, athletic and hands on activities.
4. Ask for Help: Develop a good rapport with your child's teachers, school counselor and other school staff to better understand your child, find resources and engage in your child's life in a supportive way. Seek outside programs such as summer camps, clubs and groups, and, of course, take advantage of your local library, which will provide more than just books. My own local library has monthly programming for kids, free passes to all the area museums and zoos, and many other value-laden resources that inspire and peak the interest of even the most fickle children. If you don't know an answer, seek it out and show your kids that it's okay to ask for help; that simple lesson may be the greatest thing you ever teach your child.
5. Provide a Positive, Focused and Structured Learning Environment as you Celebrate your Kid's Successes and Help them Overcome their Setbacks: Praise and encourage your child, but have high expectations for them and hold them accountable for their actions. Guide them, and help them with their homework, but resist the temptation to do it for them, and have the courage to let them fail. It's okay...you can let them fail, at least every now and again, it doesn't make you a bad parent, and kids, just like adults, actually analyze and learn best from their failures. Certainly, like a great coach, pick them up when they fall, but don't let them loose focus; and if they become over-confident when they succeed, teach them the value of humility, and if need be, take them down a notch, and then build them back up. They'll thank you later when they can handle themselves with dignity, respect and integrity in adulthood.
In conclusion, be honest with your children, and let them know that you make mistakes, but rather than letting those errors defeat you, you embrace them as meaningful learning opportunities. Model the notion that life isn't about being perfect, and instead, help them to recognize that learning is about growth through trail and error. Show them that the obstacles we face are an important part of a journey that makes life a wonderful and rich adventure, no matter how young or old we are. Teach them that working hard, being enthused and challenging our assumptions about the world leads to wisdom, knowledge and, most importantly, happiness. Children are born with an innate and insatiable desire to learn, and if you simply provide a nurturing, structured and supportive environment that is bolstered with love and understanding, nature will ensure that your child develops an intrinsic and deep desire for learning.
